"I Wanna Be a Boss"

I wanna be a boss. I wanna sign the checks. I wanna be the big cheese, the big man, the guy who hires and fires and tells his employees what to eat and they do, not because they want to, hoo boy!, they don't! No way, man! I could make my employees eat paste, man, and they'd say yes. And why? Because I'm the boss. The big man. The big cheese. They would live in fear of me. I could write a huge memo, a thousand pages, and they'd have to read every word of it if I told them to. I would be making them so much damned money that they'd have no idea how to spend even a little bit of it. And I would own this giant mansion out in Beverly Hills or Bel Air and sleep with movie stars and musicians like Mariah Carey and Julia Roberts and they'd do everything I told them to do because I'd be the boss. I'd have these great dunner parties with the greatest hoeur d'overes and I'd eat with the president and Bill Gates and Boutros Boutros-Ghali.

Yeah, It would be great if I were a boss. Don'tcha think?

This was a little improvisational writing exercise inspired by a funny song by Stan Ridgway of Wall of Voodoo "Mexican Radio" semi-fame. His song is funnier than my story.

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